Every yes to a thing is a no to another thing, i.e., nothing is free; there’s a cost for every action and inaction.

There’s this bouncer in our lives that guards us from doing things, usually stuff that brings some kind of discomfort. This big guy has been with us for years, even decades, doing what it does best with consistency. It has saved us a lot of stress, energy, failed attempts, and some kind of regrets if we’d done what we wanted when we needed to.

This bouncer’s common name is PROCRASTINATION.

Aside from self-doubt, this guy has the biggest influence on my life. It came through with some acquaintances, like hours of screen time scrolling on social media. I’d surf the net, checking gadget specifications, reviewing the coolest mobiles and their capacities, even when I had no intention of getting one. I’d do something less important because I felt the main task wasn’t aligning with my mood (though, in my head, the tasks weren’t that bad).

Months passed, I got little done, and I was always mentally tired before I started. I tried to find the cause of this online and watched a lot of content on beating procrastination. The hacks only worked for a short time; I still went back to my old routine, spending 4+ hours on social media.

I checked out books on discipline, not knowing that reading instead of doing what I was supposed to do was another form of procrastination, but a better one, by the way. On my quest to find a way out, I learned that I need to diagnose before I can cure. I need to know why I procrastinate instead of finding ways to cancel out the bouncer that’s been with me for over a decade. It’s not easy to break up such a relationship.

This made me discover that the reason we procrastinate is often due to:

• A lack of clarity: Not knowing what to do, how to do it, or the purpose for doing it.

• Worry about the whole task: Using the mind to build Rome in a day.

• Perfectionism: This comes in disguise as excellence, not wanting to look anything less than perfect, and ending up doing nothing.

• Distractions: Mobile phone, friends, environment, and internet.

• Lack of direction: Having no goals or purpose to work toward.

And then i found put that the problem wasn’t me, but what I was doing. I realized that if I refused to do things that align with who I want to be, I’m voting toward who I don’t want to be. The cost of scrolling on my phone for two hours watching reels could be two hours of learning a new skill that helps my growth and career. Seven days of scrolling on TikTok dance challenges could be used to finish a book, which adds to my knowledge bank and increases my output.

Every yes to a thing is a no to another thing, i.e., nothing is free; there’s a cost for every action and inaction.

But how can you cure this favorite enemy?

• Identify why we bounce: Knowing why you procrastinate can help in identifying the necessary cure.

• Have a sense of direction: What do you want to work toward in the next one to five years? Create monthly and weekly plans to move toward it, then build a gradual daily routine to achieve the main goal.

• You don’t have to know the whole process to start. All you need to know is the next step that possibly moves you toward your goal.

No matter how well you plan, you’ll still meet surprises along the road, so focus more on the next feasible step. When I planned to write this two days ago, I was overwhelmed about where to start, what to write, and how to write it. I felt perfectionism pressing my neck, so I decided to just write the content outline and leave it.

Yesterday, this same guy was so close, lecturing me about how I really don’t need to write this now, so I told myself, ‘I’m only going to write the first paragraph.’ To my surprise, I wrote three. I continued this morning with the feeling of progress, and it was easier to complete than before.

So, my dear fellow bouncers, we aren’t weak or procrastinators. we just tend to overcomplicate things in our minds. But the best part is winning over the bouncer more than it wins over us.

We don’t need perfection; we only need to do what needs to be done, regardless of the outcome.

The aim is just to get something done. One step at a time, we’ll develop self-mastery.

From someone who’s been there: You are not alone, and every step you take counts ♥️.